Missouri State Highway Patrol troopers say none of the 20 school children on the bus were injured in the accident that occurred about 7:50 a.m.

Spokesman Sgt. Jason Pace said an initial investigation revealed the school bus passed the buggy on a straight stretch of Highway P.

The school bus then returned to the right lane where the driver slowed to pick up a student waiting on the bus, Pace said.

The bus driver applied the brake and stopped. The horse did not.

Pace described the horse’s injuries as “very minor.”

Don’t get too excited, guys. Oral sex hasn’t made it to the Dollar Menu just yet. Instead, we have news of a woman who’s filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s, alleging that the billion-dollar burger bordello played a part in turning her into a prostitute.

Let’s check out the allegations, and find out whether this woman’s milkshake does, in fact, bring all the boys to the yard….

Shelley Lynn has sued McDonald’s, along with her ex-husband, Keith Handley, and his restaurant company, Ivernia, in federal court in California. She claims that she met her ex while working the counter at McDonald’s, but that she was soon forced into working the corner.

In this story, Handley plays the part of the evil pimp, and Lynn plays the part of the hooker with a heart of gold Golden Arches. Handley, Lynn’s former boss at McDonald’s, convinced her that the best way to spread her wealth was to start spreading her legs. Ba-da-ba-ba-baaa… Handley was lovin’ it.

Lynn soon became the “top booker” at brothel near Las Vegas, where she once had to have sex with 12 men in one night. So where does McDonald’s come into play? Courthouse News Service has more info:

According to Lynn’s complaint, McDonald’s “failed to conduct a due diligence into the moral character of Handley when it sold franchises to him.”

She claims McDonald’s “failed to properly supervise and train Handley, as a direct result of which Handley used his position as an employer and conspired with his corporation Ivernia to coerce and bribe two of Ivernia’s employees to make false statements against Lynn during Handley’s dissolution and to suppress relevant evidence he had disclosed about himself … . Handley also engaged in pimping operations out of the McDonald’s franchises he owned,” according to the complaint.

Lynn is seeking lost wages, special damages, compensatory damages and punitive damages for sex trafficking, negligent retention and supervision of franchisees, and racketeering.

And now we all get to wonder what’s really in their “special sauce.”

Robert Wilkinson, a Canadian, got arrested for intoxication and didn’t agree with the charges. After pleading his case, he decides to belt out his emotions… through the music of Queen.

Wanda Derby bonded out of jail Thursday afternoon.

The victim, Lloyd Guerrero, 25, said the attack followed days of growing tension. Derby’s son moved in with Guerrero and his family about a week ago, he said.

Guerrero said the attack Wednesday night was unprovoked.

“Honestly, it looked like something out of a TV show. She just, like, whack,” Guerrero said, motioning with his hand. “And I will say, she hit pretty hard.”

Guerrero, an actor, said Derby also slapped his mother and assaulted several others.

“We finally got the cane and got it away from her and threw it on the ground,” he said. “And then that’s when I ran around and got inside the house. And then we started trying to shut the door. And she was like, full force, coming. I honestly don’t know what she was thinking or what she even had in her.”

The responding police officers saw marks and bruising on Guerrero’s throat and torso.

Guerrero said Derby has repeatedly called him a slur referring to his sexual orientation.

“I was very offended,” he said. “You just don’t go around calling people names because. It’s just not normal.”

He also said she posted messages about him online.

“She put on Facebook that I had AIDS and that I was going to die soon from AIDS anyway,” he said.

His friends saw the postings and he said he’s had to reassure them he doesn’t have the disease.

Police say the cane she used is considered a deadly weapon. The charge was enhanced as a hate crime.

According to Texas law, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon carries a maximum 20-year prison term. However, as a hate crime, the possible sentence increases to life behind bars.

“She deserves every bit of it,” Guerrero said.

Police believe Shaquille Leon Waldron-Gray, 18, of Stamford got into an argument with one of his teachers about the number of times he was late for class. They say the argument escalated until Waldron-Gray attempted to strangle the teacher, eventually fleeing the school when police were called.

Witnesses led police to a Bedford Street Parking Garage, where the suspect was found and arrested, police said. Before he was taken into custody the suspect tried to punch one of the officers, but missed, police said.

Waldron-Gray was charged with second-degree hindering prosecution, third-degree assault, first-degree threatening, second-degree strangulation and disorderly conduct, police said. He was unable to post $2,500 bond, and appeared in court Thursday morning, police said.

The victim told police he would drive himself to the hospital later Wednesday to have his injuries checked.

While in the back of the patrol car on the way to Ouachita Correctional Center, Trichell reportedly got out of the handcuffs and pulled down his girlfriend’s shirt and bra.

OPSO reported that at OCC Trichell accused the deputy of pulling down her clothes and would lose his job. When deputies tried to handcuff him again, Trichell resisted, causing a struggle. Trichell continued to threaten and curse the deputy. The arrest report stated suspected marijuana was found in the seat where Trichell was sitting.

A female deputy pulled Gunter’s clothes back up.

The arrest affidavit stated OPSO told the couple to leave the Western Club only to be called back because Trichell and Gunter had returned. The first time they left, Trichell was carrying a case of beer. When deputies came back the beer was broken in the street and Trichell was cursing the complainant.

Gunter, 29, 903 Dye St., Oak Grove, was charged with criminal trespassing and disturbing the peace. She posted a $400 bond and was released. Trichell, 26, of the same address, was charged with disturbing the peace, criminal trespasing public intimidation, resisting by violence, littering and possession of marijuana. He posted an $8,850 bond and was released.

It began last Tuesday in a Juneau committee room. Wasilla Republican Rep. Wes Keller, chairman of the House Health and Social Services Committee, convened a meeting, not to discuss a bill, but rather to get information and air grievances about the fact that some state money goes to pay for abortions for poor women.

Alaska provides state funding for abortions because it would be unconstitutional not to. This issue was decided by the state Supreme Court. But the Legislature keeps passing budget bills saying the state won’t pay. It’s a long-standing topic of Republican grousing. Keller, who is anti-abortion, has a pending bill on the topic.

Clover Simon, an official with Planned Parenthood in Alaska, testified and gave her spiel about how “government should not interfere in a decision between a woman and her doctor, her family or faith …”

Then Dick, who is vice-chairman of the committee, chimed in.

Simon had referred to “a woman and her pregnancy,” Dick said. But if a woman gets pregnant and decides to have the baby, he said, then the guy is on the hook for paying for it for 18 years.

“Yet if the woman chooses not to carry the child all of a sudden it’s her individual personal choice,” he said. “…I don’t think it’s really her pregnancy because it’s their pregnancy. And if anything the decision to have an abortion should be made not only by the woman but the man who is also involved.”

He asked Simon what she thought of that. Simon replied that Planned Parenthood encourages partners to be involved, but sometimes communication doesn’t always work that way.

Dick went on.

“Double standards always bothered me and if I thought that a man’s signature was required in order for a woman to have an abortion I’d have a little more peace about it…”

Whoa there, Mr. Dick. An abortion permission slip?

Didn’t take long for that snippet of the committee meeting to make its way around the globe. The ladies were not amused. Can’t blame them for being sensitive. Between the forced ultrasounds (Alaska has a bill on this pending) and the threats about birth control, seems like GOP lawmakers are going medieval on women’s health. I’m not sure how that helps them vote-wise, but I’m no expert.

“Nothing says “freedom” or “the 1950′s” like having your husband sign a permission slip before you get surgery,” wrote the satirical web site Jezebel.

“He didn’t say whether a rapist would be able to send his signature by fax from prison,” Alaska blogger Jeanne Devon, also known as Ak Muckraker, wrote on The Mudflats and the Huffington Post.

From the blogsphere, the storm moved to Facebook, where an “Alan for Alaska” page was deluged with angry posts from across the country, something that has been happening nationally to lawmakers involved with legislation seen as hostile to women’s health. The sarcasm ran thick. Many weren’t printable. (His office couldn’t say Thursday whether the page was created by someone involved with his campaign.)

“It’s all so confusing for me being a woman to make these big decisions on my own,” wrote Molly Hayes-Green, a poster from Michigan. “Will you help? Will you buy me a pony?”

“Do I have to have my husband’s permission to go into menopause?” wrote Janet Switzer from Oregon.

“Hey, Alan,” wrote Wilbur Goltermann of Colorado. “Are you smoking crack?”

Taking all this outrage into consideration, Dick decided to clarify .

“I have received several phone calls from women who were offended. I’ve listened to what they said. I realize how what I said could be taken to be hurtful — it was for the women who called — and I apologize,” he wrote in a statement posted on his legislative web page.

But, as far as I can tell, he hasn’t really changed his position

“I was trying to make a point that if the law makes a man responsible (and rightly so) for a child he has fathered — it might also require that he be informed before a decision is made to terminate the life of his unborn child.”

I called him Thursday to double-check.

“I believe a man and a woman should have equal say on whether or not a pregnancy should end in childbirth or abortion,” he said. Most of his district does not support abortion, he said.

So what was he proposing? How would it work?

“I’m just making a statement, I’m not passing laws,” he said.

But didn’t he say something last week about some kind of signature system?

“If I misspoke, I was misspeaking,” he said. “I don’t recall anything about a signature.”

Wouldn’t it get kind of complicated, this idea of making a woman ask a man about getting an abortion? What if a woman didn’t want one and a guy did or vise versa. Who got to make the call?

“That’s why I’m just sticking with my simple statement, Julia,” he said. He said the “equal say” sentence again.

I had more questions. I heard a knock at the door in the background. I started to ask something. He had to run, he said. If he ever came to Anchorage we could get coffee, he said. I thanked him for his time. He thanked me for mine.

“Bless you,” he said, and hung up.

Read more here: http://www.thenewstribune.com/2012/03/22/2078674/ask-permission-for-abortions-women.html#storylink=cpy

This should give a new meaning to the term “passion play.”

Marc Angenent, a Dutch priest turned sex therapist, has started an online store for Christians who want to shop for sex toys, but don’t want to be inundated with pornographic images and crude language.

The website is called Liefdestuin–”The Love Garden,” and it caters to the long-ignored niche market of consumers interested in purchasing dildos, but offended by photos of people using dildos.

Angenent says he hopes the Love Garden will help nurture the idea that Christians can take pleasure in sex without feeling dirty or shameful.

The website offers a modest selection of dildos, vibrators, condoms and, yes, penis enhancing dick sprays. Items are shipped in packaging so discreet it practically screams: “There is NOT a cockring in here!”

In addition to providing a place for people to purchase masturbation materials without running into ads that might make them want to masturbate, Liefdestuin offers basic sex education information and cites Bible verses that prove God was OK with people quelling the fires in their burning bushes.

In a recent interview, Angenent told Radio Netherlands Worldwide:

“Particularly the Old Testament is full of erotic stories. Within a spiritual context, of course, but eroticism is very present.”

Angenent describes himself as a devout Christian who believes sex and eroticism are God given gifts.

As if creating a world in which Christians can finally buy their erection enhancing dick spray in peace wasn’t enough, Angenent also offers sex counseling services to Christ-loving couples in need. Someone put aside a couple extra cream pies for this guy at the next church bake sale!

A mysterious dream is at the center of a young Middle Tennessee mother’s murder. Police found the body of Julie Rayfield in her son’s bathroom Monday morning.

Her estranged husband Dennis surrendered himself to police, and it turns out what he thought was a rough night’s sleep was more fact than fiction.

There had been problems in Dennis and Julie Rayfield’s marriage for some time, but the woman’s mother says she had no idea it would end in murder and no idea a bad dream would play such a big part in the case.

“She made you feel like she was your best friend,” mother Teresa Pope said.

A single wedding photo and leftover crime tape remind Pope of what was and what went wrong.

“None of us are doing good at all. Not well,” she said.

Inside a home north of Waynesboro Sunday night, Julie Rayfield died at the hands of her estranged husband Dennis, according to the Florence Times-Daily.

“They weren’t divorced yet. He did not live here since September. He had no business here,” Pope said. “He’s something. He has a temper.”

According to investigators, Dennis Rayfield had a plan. He parked his pickup truck at a church then walked nearly a mile down the road to get to his wife.

“He planned it out. It was all a plan,” Pope said.

At the home, investigators said Dennis broke in through a front window and confronted Julie, then shot her in their four-year-old son Gage’s bathroom.

All of this took place as the little boy slept on the other side of the house.

“When he broke in, it’d be like her to say, ‘Let’s go to the other side of the house and talk,’ you know. It would be like her to do that,” Teresa Pope said.

Detectives say Dennis surrendered to authorities in neighboring Lawrence County after he told his family he dreamt he hurt Julie, then later realized it really happened.

His mother-in-law says she doesn’t buy the story and that she will insist on justice for the sake of her only child.

“We had no idea he could do something like this,” Pope said. “And there’s no doubt in my mind he did it. I mean, there’s no doubt in my mind.”

Dennis Rayfield is held in the Wayne County Jail facing a murder charge.

The couple’s four-year-old son, Gage, is with Julie’s parents. They said they will do their best to raise him as their own.

“i think it’s a pretty good idea,” one apartment resident said.

He’s talking about the possibility of banning smoking in all apartment complexes in the city.

A Sacramento-based trade association that works with landlords is against the idea, however.

“We don’t think it’s necessary,” said Cory Koehler with the Rental Housing Association. We support an owner’s right to choose the policy that’s in the best interest of their particular property. But what we don’t support is a new law by local government forcing the owner to do that.”

That’s because hundreds of apartment complexes in Elk Grove are already smoke-free. Property owners – many argue – have made the move without government intervention.

But a father and apartment resident wants the ban to go into effect:

“I think it’s harmful to the human body and especially to younger kids who live here,” he said.

Others say no way and are left shaking their heads.

“I don’t think it’s right,” one resident said. “That’s kind of violating people’s rights.”

The right to light up vs. the power of a possible ordinance – this smokin’ hot debate over a cigarette showdown has only just begun.

The City Council will take up the issue at its meeting next week.